Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Expressions
LIVE IT YOUR WAY
When I don’t feel like talking
I want to cry out all my feelings
Cause there is no one to share with
So I just calm myself and breathe
Thinking I have exhaled all the bad
But the truth is that I still have it inside
If not full but a bit at least a part of it
Which troubles me pinches me, drives me mad
I am unable to understand the hell will I do of that
I want to shout it out aloud
So I could explain the crowd
That I have done nothing wrong
And if I have then point out
They should understand the way I feel
I am nothing more but just a teen
But then a voice I relish the most
That voice of my heart tells me be bold
It’s your life
You have to know and believe it also
Where you are the actor
Your heart director
And if you talk of people around
They are just the co-actors
So rule over it and live it your way
Cause in the end it’s the good in you, which is going to stay…………
(a poem received from one of my little friends from LTL workshop)
This shows the creativity in them ,which when nurtured and encouraged can make the world a better place to live.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Treat me as responsible person
Recently had revisiting sessions with LTL friends from Sathya Sai School.Since we met after four months,there was lot of excitement,happy mornings and murmurings.Finally they started chatting with each other and this became a bottleneck to proceeding with the agenda.Tried everything without success.Finally requested and they responded positively.This validated the truth that teenagers are growing up and if they are treated as responsible persons,there are more chances of soliciting their desired response.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Are children so different or our experience with them is different?
Had three interesting workshops with children, one for NHPC Faridabad, one for Billabong School Bhopal and third one for English medium school at Shirdi. Yes, the composition of groups were different. ,At Faridabad ranging from 10to 19 studying from class VI to even a student of engineering, at Bhopal children of class VI&VII and at Shirdi all of them were from class IX.
My experience with each group was also very different. At Fridabad , response was beautiful ,at Bhopal it was mixed and at Shirdi it was memorable. The children at Fridabad did learning and masti both, at Bhopal maximum learning was through masti and at Shirdi it was learning with love and love alone.
Trying hard to avoid labelling of children-as for me children are children only- I introspected and realized that it was me, who was different with every group. My own paradigms, my own perceptions probably made me behave and experience differently.
Insights obtained are listed below-
-Children exposed to technology and environment feel very confident about themselves but in the process are less committed to values except those whose parents are making very conscious attempts to reinforce these. On the other hand children less exposed to technology and environment are very committed to value systems and core component of their personality is very strong.
-There is a greater urge to learn about life and to get success in those staying in smaller towns.
-Competition is a strong feeling nurtured by children in bigger cities and collaboration is still the strong point of children of smaller cities.
-Love and affection are very firmly in place in children of smaller cities and children in bigger cities are very practical about these. However, from parents love is a common expectation of all children.
-Children start behaving as adults sooner in the big cities.
The observations are to be validated by more data in times to come.
Had three interesting workshops with children, one for NHPC Faridabad, one for Billabong School Bhopal and third one for English medium school at Shirdi. Yes, the composition of groups were different. ,At Faridabad ranging from 10to 19 studying from class VI to even a student of engineering, at Bhopal children of class VI&VII and at Shirdi all of them were from class IX.
My experience with each group was also very different. At Fridabad , response was beautiful ,at Bhopal it was mixed and at Shirdi it was memorable. The children at Fridabad did learning and masti both, at Bhopal maximum learning was through masti and at Shirdi it was learning with love and love alone.
Trying hard to avoid labelling of children-as for me children are children only- I introspected and realized that it was me, who was different with every group. My own paradigms, my own perceptions probably made me behave and experience differently.
Insights obtained are listed below-
-Children exposed to technology and environment feel very confident about themselves but in the process are less committed to values except those whose parents are making very conscious attempts to reinforce these. On the other hand children less exposed to technology and environment are very committed to value systems and core component of their personality is very strong.
-There is a greater urge to learn about life and to get success in those staying in smaller towns.
-Competition is a strong feeling nurtured by children in bigger cities and collaboration is still the strong point of children of smaller cities.
-Love and affection are very firmly in place in children of smaller cities and children in bigger cities are very practical about these. However, from parents love is a common expectation of all children.
-Children start behaving as adults sooner in the big cities.
The observations are to be validated by more data in times to come.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Parenting - Remaining connected with Children
Parenting –the process of keeping oneself connected with our own children
“LIGHTEN UP....YOU’LL ALL HAVE MORE FUN, AND A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP” The above is the advice given by Richard Templar in his book “The Rules of Parenting”. I completely agree .With all the pressures and stress of these times, suddenly happiness is moving out of our lives. The latest issue of outlook magazine (Dec 29,’08) features a beautiful cover story “How to be happy in these gloomy times”. Ms Sheela Reddy asking “Are you happy” finds people staring at her as if she has asked “Have you seen God lately ?”. She asks 77yr old, the People’s President Mr A P J Abdul Kalam, the mantras for happiness. Family life , Being taught early in life to overcome problems rather than let them overcome one and Good Books are the first three in the list of five mantras given by him for self.
Hence, let me express my gratefulness to fourteen parents, who could make time to be available for our follow up interactions after the workshop “ Light the Lamp Within” for their children. Lots of insights were obtained, relationships blossomed and happy moments were shared. One of the parents remarked that the interactions helped her in doing away with the curtain drawn between her and her child. Interestingly, the other ninety- six could not make time due to one thing or the other. At least three children apologised on behalf of their parents for their absence. This made me really understand as to how stressed parents are today. However, since their children love them, this should reduce their stress.
I also shared the response of 110 children from their parents to the query “What three things they expect from their parents ?” and expectations given by them are given below-
Love ,Attention and Time top the list and the findings, to my mind, does not mean that they do not get these from their parents but definitely they wish to have more of these in their childhood and specially in teenage, when they are being exposed to number of new perspectives, dilemmas and questions.On being asked to respond to question “What three sentences they will like to hear from parents? the responses were as given below-
Some sentences they wished to hear were-
1) You are the best /make every child like my child(55)
2) Appreciation/noticing improvements (53)
3) We are proud of you (41)
4) Encouraging/inspiring/keep it up (35)
5) I love you (35)
6) Suggestions for improvement/pointing major mistakes/scolding when needed(20)
7) Things/gifts/allowing junk food, playing computers, cycling(20)
8) Words of guidance(17)
9) Words of happiness(14)
10) About me/acknowledging me (9)
11) Dreams fulfilled by the child (8)
12) Assurance of being with a child/help in fulfilling his dream(3)
13) Believe me / not force me(1)
This clearly indicates that the craving for child to be considered outstanding and appreciated is so predominant. They do want their parents to be proud of themselves and want to be encouraged with strokes of love and guidance. May be today, even parents consider academic achievements as the criterion of success of their children. In the process, the support and nurturing of children, their values and beliefs to attain their potential is diminishing.
What should the children do now in this situation? I will be happy if children are able to convince their parents of necessity of the above and demand from them effective parenting in the interest of building a bond, which will make their parents also happy in times to come. After all, isn’t happiness the ultimate goal of life?
1) You are the best /make every child like my child(55)
2) Appreciation/noticing improvements (53)
3) We are proud of you (41)
4) Encouraging/inspiring/keep it up (35)
5) I love you (35)
6) Suggestions for improvement/pointing major mistakes/scolding when needed(20)
7) Things/gifts/allowing junk food, playing computers, cycling(20)
8) Words of guidance(17)
9) Words of happiness(14)
10) About me/acknowledging me (9)
11) Dreams fulfilled by the child (8)
12) Assurance of being with a child/help in fulfilling his dream(3)
13) Believe me / not force me(1)
This clearly indicates that the craving for child to be considered outstanding and appreciated is so predominant. They do want their parents to be proud of themselves and want to be encouraged with strokes of love and guidance. May be today, even parents consider academic achievements as the criterion of success of their children. In the process, the support and nurturing of children, their values and beliefs to attain their potential is diminishing.
What should the children do now in this situation? I will be happy if children are able to convince their parents of necessity of the above and demand from them effective parenting in the interest of building a bond, which will make their parents also happy in times to come. After all, isn’t happiness the ultimate goal of life?
Monday, December 1, 2008
Learning's from Mumbai Seize
All the people of this country, including people like us (who normally do not give more than half an hour on average to TV), spent more than few hours helplessly watching on one hand the drama of terror, cowardice and inertia and slow response of our bureaucrats and politicians to respond and on the other hand the gallant reply by our soldiers and armed forces to unknown might of terrorists and finally the elimination of cold blooded murderers of innocents.
This post is to kindle a fire in the belly of my friends, the children of our country, to learn what to do from the bravery of our heroes and what not to do from those, who failed all of us, mostly the political leadership and administrative machinery.
The moments of fear and agony, which survivors of the tragedy, went through can be only similar to what an innocent lonely child faces in darkness of a moonless night in a jungle full of wild beasts. This generation has a right to demand from our generation as to why we made them see all this.
What can the children do? The least is to pronounce guilty in their hearts, who allowed the terror to reach here unnoticed and also those, who did not respond in time, did not allow our soldiers facilities for much more quicker reply and denied our armed forces the pays and perks at par with those, who sit in cosy ,comfortable air-conditioned offices without ever getting exposed to dangers of loss of life. The children can also discuss formally and informally the situation and decide, what India of their dreams would be. Let it be done fast as already there are many wanting to come to stage now once peace is there to steal the show.
All the people of this country, including people like us (who normally do not give more than half an hour on average to TV), spent more than few hours helplessly watching on one hand the drama of terror, cowardice and inertia and slow response of our bureaucrats and politicians to respond and on the other hand the gallant reply by our soldiers and armed forces to unknown might of terrorists and finally the elimination of cold blooded murderers of innocents.
This post is to kindle a fire in the belly of my friends, the children of our country, to learn what to do from the bravery of our heroes and what not to do from those, who failed all of us, mostly the political leadership and administrative machinery.
The moments of fear and agony, which survivors of the tragedy, went through can be only similar to what an innocent lonely child faces in darkness of a moonless night in a jungle full of wild beasts. This generation has a right to demand from our generation as to why we made them see all this.
What can the children do? The least is to pronounce guilty in their hearts, who allowed the terror to reach here unnoticed and also those, who did not respond in time, did not allow our soldiers facilities for much more quicker reply and denied our armed forces the pays and perks at par with those, who sit in cosy ,comfortable air-conditioned offices without ever getting exposed to dangers of loss of life. The children can also discuss formally and informally the situation and decide, what India of their dreams would be. Let it be done fast as already there are many wanting to come to stage now once peace is there to steal the show.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Life of a Teenager
November 11th,2008
Many parents, while discussing with me, have expressed that the parenting role is posing many challenges to them. Many of them have narrated the tales of how teenagers are not the same as they were in their teens.
Working with these teenagers, I have been able to get few insights about them-
-They are having much greater exposure today and so are also more inquisitive.
-They do want explanations and reasonsf or what parents/teachers/elders expect from them and are to be first convinced before making commitments to fulfill these.
-They demand greater freedom in making choices in matters concerning them.
-They seek greater attention and time from parents but only when they wish it.
-They have many interests and want to do many things.
-They have high aspirations and wish to do well in their life.
On the other hand parents exhibit generally (there are always exceptions) the following traits-
-Their expectations from children are very high.
-They wish them to learn on their own or from resources paid for, by them like school, tuitions etc. and .
-They are hard pressed for time because of their own priorities (many motrs hers are working).
-They are financially better off and so provide for many things, which may not be actually needed.
-Their own life is having lot of tension and many times they pass on same to their children.
Schooling has its own constraints-
-The system is based on academic excellence and is based on conformity and obedience.
-The examinations are not for testing learning but for seeing that the children come out with answers in accordance with books and teaching.
-The relevance of the taught subjects for growth, learning and doing well in life is in question.
-The scope for creativity, innovation and discovery is much lesser in the present education system.
Thus there is a need to go deeper into all the above and develop a synergy in all three to prepare children for facing the challenges, which will be posed by life and in the process not lose their own innocence, values and above all happiness.
Many parents, while discussing with me, have expressed that the parenting role is posing many challenges to them. Many of them have narrated the tales of how teenagers are not the same as they were in their teens.
Working with these teenagers, I have been able to get few insights about them-
-They are having much greater exposure today and so are also more inquisitive.
-They do want explanations and reasonsf or what parents/teachers/elders expect from them and are to be first convinced before making commitments to fulfill these.
-They demand greater freedom in making choices in matters concerning them.
-They seek greater attention and time from parents but only when they wish it.
-They have many interests and want to do many things.
-They have high aspirations and wish to do well in their life.
On the other hand parents exhibit generally (there are always exceptions) the following traits-
-Their expectations from children are very high.
-They wish them to learn on their own or from resources paid for, by them like school, tuitions etc. and .
-They are hard pressed for time because of their own priorities (many motrs hers are working).
-They are financially better off and so provide for many things, which may not be actually needed.
-Their own life is having lot of tension and many times they pass on same to their children.
Schooling has its own constraints-
-The system is based on academic excellence and is based on conformity and obedience.
-The examinations are not for testing learning but for seeing that the children come out with answers in accordance with books and teaching.
-The relevance of the taught subjects for growth, learning and doing well in life is in question.
-The scope for creativity, innovation and discovery is much lesser in the present education system.
Thus there is a need to go deeper into all the above and develop a synergy in all three to prepare children for facing the challenges, which will be posed by life and in the process not lose their own innocence, values and above all happiness.
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